The Emotional Complexity of Mother’s Day.
Every so often, I catch myself looking through, with tearful eyes, at photos of my daughter when she was an infant. I’m overwhelmed by how quickly time has moved, and how much she has grown into her own person. It reminds me that motherhood is a giant paradox where joy and grief exist at the same time.
May’s arrival marks the beginning of Maternal Mental Health Month and brings us Mother’s Day. Like many holidays, it carries emotional complexity.
For many mothers, the day comes with the added burden of planning the celebration meant to honor them, all while carrying the exhaustion of day-to-day responsibilities. Expecting mothers may find themselves holding both excitement and anxiety as they await their little one’s arrival. And for those who hope to become mothers, the day can carry the weight of fertility challenges and longing. Mother’s Day may also stir grief for those navigating strained relationships with their own mothers, and those who carry memories of a mother who has passed on.
Motherhood does not leave us as it found us, and that can be both beautiful and painful to accept at times.
Because of this, I have come to understand how important it is to prioritize our own well-being and happiness so that we can continue to show up for those who depend on us. This Mother’s Day, no matter where you are in your motherhood journey, I invite you to nourish yourself in the same ways you nourish others. If you are unsure where to begin, or are exploring self-care in a new way, here are a few places to start:
Communicate your needs clearly. While caring for tiny humans, it can be easy to forget that you also have needs. Vocalizing that you need rest, alone time, or time for reflection does not make you a bad mother. Instead, it makes you a self-aware one.
Lean on your village. I believe that we thrive in motherhood when community is available to us. Your community may include family, friends, significant others, or those you have connected with in supportive spaces.
Give yourself permission to rest, even when it feels unproductive. Rest comes in many forms. I encourage you to consider what types of activities bring you spiritual, physical, emotional, mental and social rest, and make space for those things this Mother’s Day.
Make space for something that replenishes you. What helps you to feel grounded and connected to yourself? A warm cup of tea, a walk in the neighborhood, an hour to yourself to do absolutely nothing, gentle movement, or a video call with friends you haven’t seen in a while are meaningful ways to recharge.
Wherever life finds you this Mother’s Day, remind yourself you’re deserving of the same support and care that you so graciously give to others. My hope is that you feel held in every way as the one who holds so much for everyone else.
