What We Pass Forward: Men's Mental Health, Identity, and Legacy.

By: Teneshia Ledbetter, MA, LMFT

June holds a unique place on the calendar. It's both Men's Mental Health Awareness Month and the month we celebrate Father's Day. While those may seem like two separate observances, I believe they're more connected than we often realize. Both invite us to consider an important question: What shapes a man's identity, and what does he pass on to the people around him?

Obviously, we know that identity doesn't develop in a vacuum. Long before boys become men, they are learning who they are and who they are supposed to be. They learn from fathers, father figures, coaches, teachers, friends, society, and the culture around them. They receive both direct and indirect messages about strength, success, emotions, relationships, and responsibility. Personally, I have seen my father, husband, and brothers go through situations over the years without support or consideration of their needs. At what point do those sweet, loving baby boys that we readily comfort, become men we expect to simply endure? When do they stop needing reassurance, understanding, affection, or support? Simply said, they don't.

As the mother of an 8-year-old son, I often wonder about the messages he will receive as he grows. I watch him move through the world with curiosity, honesty, and unwavering kindness. DJ is like a walking hug. He is quick to offer affection, eager to connect, and unapologetically tender. My hope is that he never feels pressured to trade authenticity for acceptance. I hope he knows that courage can look like honesty, that strength can coexist with tenderness, and that who he is will always matter more than who the world expects him to be. 

So many men were taught how to show up for others long before they were taught how to show up for themselves.They learned how to work hard, provide, push through, and carry burdens. Yet many never had the opportunity to learn what to do with disappointment, loneliness, fear, grief, or even joy. As a result, some men spend years trying to fulfill roles without ever feeling connected to who they truly are. This is one of the reasons men's mental health matters so deeply.

Mental health is not simply about reducing symptoms, or getting through difficult seasons. It's also about understanding yourself. It's about recognizing your needs, acknowledging your emotions, and giving yourself permission to be fully human. When men are disconnected from themselves, it often shows up in ways that are easy to miss. It can look like overworking, withdrawing, irritability, perfectionism, or feeling like you have to carry everything on your own. Beneath those experiences is often a deeper longing to be seen, understood, and supported.

And this is where Father's Day enters the conversation. Whether we are reflecting on the fathers who raised us, the fathers we hoped for, or the fathers we are becoming, Father's Day naturally invites us to think about influence and impact. Fatherhood has never been about perfection. It's about presence. Presence with yourself and the people around you. It's about the countless moments that communicate, "You matter." It's about modeling what strength looks like, how relationships are handled, and what it means to navigate life's challenges. Children may not remember every lesson they were taught, but they often remember how they felt in the presence of the people who raised them.

That's why conversations about men's mental health are also conversations about legacy. The healthiest legacy a man can leave behind isn't perfection, success, or having all the answers. It's creating spaces where authenticity is welcomed, emotions are safe, and growth is possible. It's showing the next generation that strength and vulnerability can exist together. It demonstrates that asking for help is not a weakness. It's resourceful, and choosing healing over silence.

This June, as we recognize Men's Mental Health Awareness Month and celebrate Father's Day, perhaps the invitation is simple: to become curious about the stories we've inherited, intentional about the lives we're living, and mindful of what we're passing forward. Because every man leaves a legacy. The question isn't whether we'll leave one. The question is what kind of legacy we're creating today.